Sunday, August 7, 2011

29 - The Weightage

I’m back with a heavy topic (pun intended).

Wrote this on 30th May. I don’t know what took me soooo long to post this. Oh yeah, maybe ze non-ending assignments.

Do you prefer boney, thin, curvy or meaty?

I would say that beside politic, religion and race issues, weight could also be considered as a very, very sensitive issue. I’m not going to lie, I am very, very, very insecure about my weight and I know there would be tons of people out there that feel the same way I do.

It’s hard not to feel so touché about weight, when whenever you bumped into people, the first thing they’ll talk about is how much weight you’ve lost/gained from the last time you saw them. And it’s so hard not to feel envious when you saw all those models wannabe in ANTM parading all those pretty dresses and looked soooo fine while doing it.

And you infront of TV, imagining how you would look like in those dresses – there was no way it would fit so well, there would bound to be flabs, creases here and there. I know that thin doesn’t necessarily means prettier or whatever, and REALLY it’s not the case of thin=pretty but being thinner (at least to me) actually allows you to be more flexible in choosing your cloth. That, you can’t deny, couldn’t you?

That was coming from me, a relatively unknown human without any public scrutiny (with the exception of your close & distant family members, friends and acquaintances). What about all those celebs? For example, let’s say - Nicole Richie. When she was still known as ‘Paris’s BFF’ and Lionel Richie’s daughter, people said that she was fat especially when she posed beside the 5’7” giant lanky Paris all the time, Nicole looked like a stubby short girl. But then she revamped herself, get away from that demon called Paris and people started talking about how disgustingly thin she looked like.

From left to right: Ms. Richie and Mrs Madden

(Really, we should be proud of Mrs. Madden here, she had a come a long way from her skanky The Simple’s Life image!)

It’s even harder in Asia where petite and fragile is the ‘in’ thing. It is relatively obvious when the most popular out of the girl groups tend to be the skinnier, the most fragile looking. Such as Yoona (SNSD), Goo Hara (KARA) and it becomes worst as idols keep competing for the ‘smallest ant waist-like’ title. (no shit here)

What they deemed as 'thin'. Left - Yoona, Right - Hara.

In Japan, the record company even did a public weigh-in and I swear, that was the most stupid thing anyone can do! Apparently there was a girl out of the 6 that wasn’t deemed fit into the ‘right’ weight and consequently now she looked thinner than ever.

The girl of the public weigh-in. Before and After. Doesn't this break your heart?

Really?! I mean what the world had turned to.

Recently, there was uproar among fans of SNSD when Kwon Yuri is looking skinnier than ever. For those who weren’t informed, Yuri is one of the curvier out of the 9 and somehow recently she looked paper thin and frail. Oh c’mon, if Yuri is fat then I must be obese *rolls eye*

Yuri now looked thinner than Yoona :(

I won’t say that I wouldn’t be affected by what the people around me are saying. I’d probably take it harder. To be honest, I have some health issue regarding weight years ago. I didn’t even realize I was doing ‘it’, until my mom told me about how pale and frail I looked that she thought it was a serious matter enough to bring me to clinic. I used to skipping meals, I didn’t remember why but I guess I did it to maintain that skinny me back then. I didn’t know it was going to lead to some disease but it did, the doctor told me that I got anaemia from skipping meals and I lacked some nutrients needed by the body.

But then, after I started eating more, people told me that I looked chubbier and everything. I swear, it was so hard, I know I’m not morbidly obese or anything but I couldn’t help to feel anything but hurt eventhough I indeed felt healthier. It had been a struggle throughout the years for me not to feel ‘fat’, and I could only imagine what the celebrities feel under the eyes of the public :(

I know people would say ‘to hell with other people, I am happy with the way I am’ but godammit, could you be real here? We ALL care about how others think of us. We ALL judge other people, consciously or subconsciously. You know you do.

Edited on 8th August

In one of my class, there’s a girl that looked so frail that even a simple touch would blow her onto the ground. She looked painfully thin, her hips are about the size of my wrist and I still get the shudders thinking about her sticky thin wrist. There’s absolutely no meat on her and I’m not the only one who noticed.

Thinking back, that’s not pretty or even normal. Not exactly flattering either, the clothes doesn’t look any prettier on her. That’s just…painful to look at. And I don’t think I would do anything to look like that.

 

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